Don’t let yourself get distracted by your own “perceived” limitations.

As a older middle aged man I cannot adequately put myself into your position. However I have several woman friends who have the same desire to act in this capacity and we have had long conversations about this. I’m more of a listener than contributor to the conversation. I can give you something to consider that may provide some focus. I have been approached many times to become a Deacon. In my heart I know I could be a good deacon. But, in my dealings with younger adults I have found there is a certain reluctance for them to be as open with an ordained person. Perhaps this might even resonant with you. I am also halfway through my masters of theology which the prospective Deacons also attend. They end up becoming a Deacon but instead I’m going to end up with the ability to do pastoral ministry focusing on young adults which I have accepted with grace.

I am working with my parish priest on something unique during the Gospel reading/Homily that I hope may stick. Earlier this year as an experiment we had the younger adult group (which I am the adviser) along with a number of kids from our confirmation group (I co-lead) do a shadow version of the Passion while the Gospel was proclaimed. It was so well received that we decided to continue the concept this fall. Next month for instance we are doing what some people call the Little Apocalypse. I bring this example up as it puts ordinary people (as priestly people) front and center into the Liturgy and especially the Liturgy of the Word. When I was not much younger, doing something like this would have been preposterous. So would woman being Lectors and Altar Servers for instance. We have come very far in very little Church time. I believe that in the not to distant future there will be even further participation of laity in liturgy. I have no doubt this will include probably woman deaconess first (think Phoebe) and woman priest especially if the passion to do so continues to express itself in people like you. By all means cry the gift of tears as we all should for the right reasons. But, stay and be strong and positive in making your desire known, I think you will be surprised to witness more than a brush off at all levels of your local hierarchy.

Peace,
Jerry