Something worth preserving

I write this post from an internet attic above a grocery store in Belgium. I´m using a French keyboard, which has a different home row than I am used to. So please forgive this post´s brevity and/or typos!

Both my parents´ grandparents immigrated from Belgium, so most of my family history comes from here. Both sides of my family are Catholic, and Belgium is full of Catholic churches. We toured a couple of them and I expected the strange blend of tourism and devotion that I´d encountered when visiting St. Joseph´s Oratorim in Montreal and the shrine to Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City–cameras flashing and tourists gaping even as believers made pilgrimages on their knees up the steps to the Church; stopping to pray on each step, bending to kiss the ground, and clutching rosaries in their hands.

A cousin took us to a Church in Ghent where it was all tourism and no devotion — crowds squeezed past one another into the different chambers, holding phones to their ears to listen to commentary in their language of choice. Today, my sister and I visited another medieval church — this one was dark and smelled musty, seemingly of little interest to tourists or practicing Catholics. Even the Crucifix was gray from years of neglect. Votive candles burned on both ends of the church, the only signs that there were still believers who had come here. But we read in a tour book that in this church, Mass is only said once a year.

My cousin told me yesterday that, while most of Belgium is Catholic, only 10% of them practice. I saw the affect of that in this dusty, neglected, ancient, yet still beautiful church. I felt sad that so many of these beautiful churches stand empty–that they´re essentially “ghost churches,” as though the sacred is something from the distant past. I had the uneasy sensation that I was a lone believer in a dying faith. And I was completely convinced that this is something worth preserving.

In that moment, I felt the intersection of my priorities with the priorities of more conservative Catholics. In that moment, I found our middle ground. We’re both fighting so hard because we know we have something worth fighting for — I try to preserve my faith by pushing for the doors to open wider, by fighting for changes that I believe are necessary–and that the Holy Spirit is calling us to make; while they try to preserve it by closing the doors tight so nothing threatening can get inside. And change can feel so threatening.

But as I stood looking up at the stained glass windows through a haze of dust, I felt a kinship with those who seek to preserve the Church in ways I do not, and even in ways that I fight. Because I know we could both stand in that empty church and say, “Yes, this is important to me, too.”

This entry was posted in Uncategorized by Lacey Louwagie. Bookmark the permalink.

About Lacey Louwagie

I'm a feminist, a writer, an editor, and a seeker. I co-edited "Hungering and Thirsting for Justice: Real-Life Stories by Young Adult Catholics" (ACTA 2012) and authored "Where I First Met God" in "Unruly Catholic Women Writers II" (SUNY Press 2013). You can learn more about me at

3 thoughts on “Something worth preserving

  1. You know, I’ve had a similar experience. I remember being stranded in Brussels late one night and having trouble typing an e-mail on a Belgian keyboard in desperation trying to let people at home know what happened. And a little while after that, my friend and I happened upon the cathedral of St. Micheal’s. It was a source of comfort… or sanctuary, if you will.
    A week earlier we had been in Paris and attended mass on the third Sunday of Advent in Notre Dame. I’ve never had an experience like that. Even though the French (like the Belgians) are very secular, the cathedral was packed. There was a sense of community and deep spirituality among a diverse group of people from different ethnic, cultural, and national backgrounds. And certainly not everyone spoke the same language. I think places like Notre Dame and St. Michael’s remind us that we have an ancient foundation of faith, and there still is awe and mystery in that faith.

  2. I think that what you experienced is a realization that liberal or conservative, we are all Catholics. I think something similar to this is happening in America today, liberal or conservative we are all Americans. However, I think you contradict yourself when you mention that conservative Catholics are tyring to keep the doors shut where liberal Catholics are trying to open them.
    I argue that in some cases, there are no doors, and its futile looking for them. To create a door where there was not one, and one was never intended will only accomplish the weakening of the structure; its eventual collapse.
    Advocacy of homosexual behavior is one area like this. Sexual activity is reserved for marriage, which is only Sacramentally possible between a man and a woman. That will not change in the Catholic Church.
    The valid ordination of women as Roman Catholic priests has been categorically ruled out by an infallible teaching of the Church. The Sacrement of Holy Orders requires a human male, as instituted by Christ. The Church does not have the authority to alter this, so it will never change.
    Teachings on abortion and contreceptives will not change, they can’t because they’ve already been settled. There is nothing to debate.
    Celibacy is a good example of a debatable issue, as it is a discipline, not a doctrine. But other social justice issues, like the treatment of the environment and the poor, you will probably find that if there is definitive Church teaching it is quite liberal (politically) and even conservative Catholics should agree with it!

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