An Unhealthy Addiction

There are few things that cause me to sin more than fantasy baseball. 

Each baseball season it starts simply and innocently enough.  I join the same league I’ve been in the past few years and draft some players.  The first month I keep an eye on their stats and make a few changes, but ultimately go on with life as normal.

However, by the time the All-Star break comes around, fantasy baseball now dominates my thoughts.  I now begin to hope that the players on the other teams will do poorly, and even root against my favorite teams if it will help my fantasy team in some way.  And instead of being resourceful, I sit for hours looking at baseball stats.

As the end of the season arrives, madness sets in as my players do poorly.  I now pray for the players on the other teams to succumb to injury, and curse and punch the computer when it instead happens to me.  I become short with people during the day, constantly strategizing how I might gain some points.  Any relationships I have with friends and family are severely damaged from the total control fantasy baseball has over my life.  I am told that I am “insane” or “crazy” or “constantly foaming at the mouth when baseball scores scroll at the bottom of the tv”.  Finally, when it becomes clear that I am not going to win I begin to question the existence of God.

Well, maybe it doesn’t go that far.

But, anyway, all of this got me thinking that maybe I should start a fantasy league of my own where you draft various altar servers and get points for when they don’t screw up during Mass.  (When I space off during Mass, which unfortunately happens a bit too often, I start to count server errors.)  So you could trade servers throughout the year, and maybe get double points for holy days of obligation.  Maybe the tiebreaker could be guessing the length of the homily on Easter.  Okay, I’m thinking too hard about this.

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About danielrosmann

I am a farmer from southwest Iowa. I raise organic cattle and hogs as well as various organic crops. I type with two fingers and average about 4 words per minute. I start many sentences with I. Also, I'm less funny in person probably.

3 thoughts on “An Unhealthy Addiction

  1. I think there’s a lot of potential here. Maybe extra points for when the congregation has new people in the pews stand up and introduce themselves. Extra points when the homily has more meat to the message than the announcements. Points taken away when the cantor misses a hymn. And an infinite number of points when you get out early to make it home in time to watch some football games.

  2. Not to get all serious because this is a fun post but I was thinking about what you said when you get distracted in mass. One of the things I remember from the spiritual exercises stuff was that sometimes a distraction is not just a distraction, it could be God turning your head to something God wants you to sit with. So, it was suggested to sit with a distraction (instead of shooing it away because it will always come back)and see if there is fruit to it. If not, then move on and the distraction will probably pass now that you have acknowledged it. But if there is fruit to it, you might find another blog in it!! haha!

    In any case, I just loved this practice because for me it 1-made me feel better about being distracted, its only natural and 2-it might actually be there for a reason!

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