Inside the Prayer, pt. 2

I called a Sufi order in New York today in my ongoing journey regarding prostrations. The general manager there mentioned something that I have heard elsewhere — that even your heart has to prostrate. And you can do physical prostrations, but your entire heart must prostrate. It is the state of prayer without ceasing. I feel like when I am aware of God’s all-encompassing power, that all love ends up back to God, it is a state of copulation with this power. Copulating with God, if you will. Without being sexual, just by walking. By the state of always being in-between.

I have been feeling guilty lately (I know, the Catholic guilt sucks), that I haven’t been a good enough Catholic, or not as involved with my local parishes…or not an oblate…or not as active in some of those circles. It’s silly, I know, but it’s valid. If I don’t have my external religious identity (I’ve tried going to services that are not Catholic masses, and they are powerful, but not like Catholic masses), what do I have? I wear a headscarf when I am out and about to remind myself of this Godly copulation, that there is something higher than me, and that I am in connection with God.

But it’s something I’m always struggling with. How do I remember God in my busy life? How do I do the externals, but continue, in my journey, to find this love that pertains to all — which pertains to God? I know the external shape of my prayer, I know the internal feeling — but I have a calling that reminds me to remember God. To not forget God. Maybe everyone has some sort of calling like this, in some aspect. My puzzle is remembering to remember when I haven’t already recalled.

And like the term Toni Morrison coins, rememory, I must figure out what to do once I’ve remembered.


3 thoughts on “Inside the Prayer, pt. 2

  1. Hey there! Can I ask you to say more about the head scarf you wear? I have been looking for information about the meaning of it (and how it is related, I imagine, to Jewish head covering) but all I can find are arguements about how it is or isnt misogynist. I know meanings of things are different for everyone, but my poor mom doesnt remember why they had to wear them, just that they did.

  2. Hey Lauren, sorry it took me so long to write back. I think a lot of Catholic women wear headscarves based on the passage in Corinthians — that women must cover their heads because of the angels, etc.. And a lot would argue that headscarves have never technically been “outdated.” Headscarves pre-date Judaism. I’ve read arguments that the headscarf goes back to Babylon, but it is definitely an pre-Abrahamic thing. I wear it as a reminder of my submission to God, love for God, and that I *try* to be in constant remembrance of God. It’s a sign from a Lover to the Beloved, I suppose.

  3. No worries about the time.

    That’s really interesting about the headscarves. What doe submission to God mean to you? Its interesting to me that Jewish men, as far as I can tell, wear the yarmulke to remindthem that there is something between them and God but that it is a small thing. (I think, but could be totally wrong!). There is also a scripture passage relating to the meaning for them. Many orthodox jewish women wear head coverings when they are married because their beauty is saved for their husband, very similar to some Muslim spirituality. Again, I’m not sure if I have the meaning down, especially as an observer not a participant in those faiths.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s